


Not The Same

by MadHattress



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Angst, Gen, So much angst, anggssstttt, no seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-26
Updated: 2012-05-26
Packaged: 2017-11-06 00:58:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/412945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadHattress/pseuds/MadHattress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Forgiveness cannot be recieved when the guilty is unwilling to recieve it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not The Same

**Author's Note:**

> Guys, this fandom is beginning to take over my life.
> 
> SEND
> 
> HELP.
> 
> Anyways, remembered reading something on tumblr. A head canon on exactly what happened to the Lok-meister in the void and sort of explained his reasoning for what he did. I liked that headcanon, so... this happened. Enjoy, I guess.

The air hung bitterly algid and formidable that night in Asgard. Mothers instinctively held their children close to their chest. They locked the doors to their houses, peering out the windows to try and spot a suspicious figure looming among the dark sky, yet even though they saw not a soul got a wink of sleep that night. Nary a person of any level of sanity dared venture outside.

Nobody, that is, but two silhouettes walking side by side, wordlessly expressing their aversion for the other as they swiftly passed by the buildings, seemingly without notice of each other. The taller one was, upon closer inspection, was easily distinguished as the well-known Thor Odinson, heir to the throne and fantasy-fuel for more than a few blushing Asgardian damsels. Anyone viewing the scene would instantly sigh in relief, dismissing their suspicion immediately... that is, until their eyes focused upon the second figure.

This one was slightly shorter, with slicked black hair and emerald green eyes that seemed to shine like a cat's in the moonlight. His hands were bound together by manacles, and there were red, angry marks around his mouth. He rubbed at them every so often, wincing, and snuck a glance at the taller man with looks that ranged from sometimes utmost contempt and loathing, and, less often, brow furrowing somberness.

This was Loki Laufeyson, formerly known as Loki Odinson until rumors became truths and the thought that he was ever known as the Allfather's son was almost laughable. He was an outcast, to say the least. A spinner of lies, entrapping the careless and foolish in his spindling web of words until they were aware of his plan, but by then it was usually too late. When he was a child, the result was usually a prank setting off on one of his enemies. But lately, as he grew older and his bouts of mischief's intent grew darker, the effects were more... lasting.

"Thor..."

Thor couldn't even meet Loki's baleful eyes, nor did he want to. He quickened his pace. It wasn't as if he was at a loss for words. There was much he wanted to say, a wave of words to express his... concerns. But he was not in any mood to talk to his brother, and right now? He wanted to pretend the past year was just a dream. It had to be only a matter of time before he woke up.

When Loki had let go and dropped to what Thor rightfully thought was his end into the void, he had felt like a part of him had fallen with it; he still caught himself mourning for the brother he once knew some days. When Thor chained his hands and mouth, he were angry. And when they released the bonds from Loki's mouth, and placed him under his watch until a proper trial was initiated, he admitted he were even wary of this frozen shell of his brother.

But now? He was just so confused. On how his own kin, the once reserved, understanding little boy that used to laugh at all Thor's jests and calm his fits of frustration like younger siblings should... how could he have done this much damage? He killed a man. No, multiple faces, multiple lives stopped because of his brother's rebelliousness.

"Thor, please."

Loki had been a number of terrible things. It was his way to constantly walk in the gray area between light and dark, after all. A trickster and chronic liar along with a hearty dose of apprehensiveness were often first that came to mind when any Asgardian heard the name of the beloved Thor's brother. But a sadist had never been in his nature. It still sent chills down his spine even now, his menacing grin. Did he even know this new man who had replaced his brother?

But then again, it was possible he never knew the true intentions of Loki to begin with.

"I am trying to make an effort to talk, you know. Rather generous of me, considering the wounds in my mouth still haven't healed from that... muzzle. You could at least acknowledge me for once in your life."

He looked up suddenly and caught a fleeting smile on Loki's face. And for a moment, a glimpse of adoration was etched on his face in the way only a younger sibling could express to his former mentor, his only friend not so long ago, in response to their elder brother. It was quickly replaced with an icy smirk, hands folded triumphantly. "I knew that would catch your attention."

Both men were at a standstill.

"For once in my life?" repeated Thor slowly, scrutinizing the wild-eyed man in front of him. "You are under the belief I haven't, in all of our years since infancy... even noticed your existence? You know that is not true, brother. You were my deepest confidant when we were growing up, and that hadn't changed until-" He hesitated."Recently."

Loki laughed humorlessly. "Tell me, Thor. When was the last time you cared-- no, even thought-- about somebody other than yourself?" Thor started to speak, but Loki held up his hand and interrupted him midsentence." And no, don't go on about that mortal girl-"

"I wasn't going to 'go on about the mortal girl', as you put it, brother." His lips were tight and every word was forcibly calm.

"Oh, but you were." He continued on, eyes alight at the prospect of egging his brother's anger on." I know you were. You just cannot get enough of humans lately, can you? You joined their little club and went against your own 'brother' -" He spat out the word as if it were poison. "- and for what? A cesspooling planet of mortals? I know where your loyalty lies and it is not in Asgard anymore than mine is!"

"I'm only your blood when it's convenient, isn't that right? But I suppose that's not your point, nor is it mine. You went up against Asgard, too, Loki. Not just Midgard! You were trying to enslave an entire race to do your bidding and for who? No other than yourself!"

Thor grabbed him by the shoulders and was surprised about how flimsy they were. Loki was naturally weak and thin boned, even sickly looking, but... this was different. He felt as if he could snap his brother like a toothpick with absolutely no effort. It was not a good feeling. And something shifted in the swirling insanity of his eyes. Was it fear? Loki jolted in surprise at the physical contact, jerking away before he could regain his cool composure. 

"You know nothing of why I do what I do." His voice sounded hollow and distant. "Don't pretend as if you have an *inkling* of thought towards comprehension because you don't."

"Then please, enlighten me!" His voice was hoarse, close to yelling, and he didn't really know why. Few people stretched him to such lengths, such emotional extremes. His father, Odin, was one on more than a few occasions. But it was never intentional, and usually to try and make him see reason. Loki twisted his words into grotesque manipulations of people's feelings. It left Thor tired and, in the end, never the victor.

Loki was silent as the night around them.

"Well, go on! You're the master of forging words. Tell me why you faked your own death, why you swatted innocent humans left and right like flies, why you destroyed countless cities, why you turned against our own family!"

He raised an eyebrow. "You give me too much credit."

It took a moment for Thor to respond. "What?"

"I admit to murdering... more than a few humans." He was choosing his words carefully. "Of course I did. You saw me. I know for a fact not everybody on your 'Avengers' team is as sinless of murder as they would seem, either. The destroying of cities and turning against *your* family, yes, I am guilty there as well. However..." He paused. "I can say without a trace of guile I did not fake my death."

"Oh yes, brother, you have me fooled! Because it is not as if I saw you drop to your supposed death and am now talking to you, alive and breathing! Honestly, I expected a better lie from a trickster like you."

Loki sighed exasperatedly, as if Thor was being the unreasonable one.

"I did not fake my death," he repeated calmly. "At least, not intentionally. That night... when the rainbow bridge shattered and my plan to bring glory to Asgard by destroying Jotunheim... when all that failed and I was hanging by *your* will, my life in *your* hands--well, I didn't want my life saved by you. I was not in the mood for humiliation. Call it cowardice, but I--I didn't want to face you either." His eyes were uncharacteristically downcast. "It was not by my choice that I stand before you, here or ever again. But... someo--the Chiatari found me in the void. It offered me a choice, a clear one: a slow, torturous death of the blond haired, brawny brother I hold so *terribly* dear to me or to join them in the annihilation of the human race."

Thor laughed bitterly. "You jest!"

Loki considered the older man and nodded, a tight smile on his thin lips. "Perhaps it didn't phrase their words like that, but believe me when I say the alternative was... not a pleasant option."

"Enslaving the nine realms and slaughtering the ones brave enough to stand up for themselves isn't a pleasant option, either. You sate my curiosity. What was your other option, if you had nothing to lose?"

"Ah, I'm not about to reveal to you my weakness, just like that! Besides, you're neither the judge nor jury and my trial isn't until next week. Until then, I'm afraid you'll just have to let me keep my little secret until Asgardian... er, justice forces me to shed a little more light on my story."

With that, began to walk at a brisk place, and left a somewhat stunned Thor behind. In response, his brother shook his head disbelievingly and

"But I am in charge of you and your overseer in the days leading up to your trial and as such I demand--"

He held his shackled hands up. "Your demands are already met. I am in your presence, am I not? You can see me well enough, with or without an explanation."

Thor sighed, deciding to step up to his elder brother title and end the fight before it started. "You always were good at talking your way out of trouble, brother."

"Yes, well." An upturning of lips revealed the hints of a smile. "I suppose some things haven't changed after all."

"That is a relief," Thor admitted, and it truly was. "It's getting rather late. We should be getting back to the castle. Father will begin to wonder what has become of us."

Loki grinned, and for once his expression was, for the most part, void of malice. "Wouldn't want your father beginning to think I've convinced you to get in cahoots with me, would we?"

Thor frowned. "Our father, Loki. Perhaps not biologically, true, but that matters nothing."

"It matters a lot, brother, and I refuse to live under the delusions that seem to be your fallacy." He paused at Thor's smug expression. "What?"

"Nothing... brother."

"That was a-a slip of the tongue, and don't you try make it out to be anything more."

"The silver tongue, tripping on his words? I find that hard to believe."

"As you said, it is getting late and my mind is beginning to fog with fatigue," replied Loki, feigning indifference. 

"Of course."

They walked in silence once more, Thor smiling and Loki rolling his eyes at his brother's strange happiness at one meaningless word. It was very likely nothing would be different the next day. Loki would be his usual deceiving, sulking self. The Allfather would be stoic and heartbreakingly displeased at his son's fallacies in the way only a true father was. Thor would fail once again to make his brother see reason. Everyone would be waiting with baited breath for the trial, envisioning the horrors of Loki's punishment for treason.

But for a moment, things were as they once were, and this pleased Thor.


End file.
